Friday, December 4, 2015

Jiggling to be Thin

Yeah, I really did mean "jiggling" and not juggling. That wasn't a typo.

I think at this stage, before I go much further with my journey through dieting, I should mention my mom. If you read my earlier posts, you'll note mention of my mother in many of them. I think perhaps besides the fact that society in general always worshipped that "perfect body", my mom figured prominently in my own thoughts on what I should look like. er, Actually, I suppose they weren't my own thoughts, but my mothers.

Mom, as a young woman.
See ... my mom wasn't what you'd call fat. As a young woman and teenager, she was downright skinny. As I remember her for most of her life, she was around 125 to 130 pounds, and just over 5'4". It was a nice, healthy and average weight. What world would consider "normal" I guess.

There were, however, times in her life where she'd creep up (slowly over a few years) to 140 pounds or 145 pounds, and then ... oh good heavens, she'd be on a weight loss tirade. Unfortunately, the rest of us were expected to be on it with her.

Her choice of "weight loss" would be some form of exercise, or some exercise machine. Never anything relatively normal, like a stationary bike or treadmill ... oh no. It was all those wacky things that came out. It piqued her interest I guess. You'd think she'd know better, being an athletic type from a young age. But nope. If it looked easy and didn't take any effort, and promised to get you slim and gorgeous, she'd try it.

The very first thing I remember was a record - an LP (yep, real vinyl) from ... mmm, late 60's or early 70's I think. It came with a booklet detailing the exercise movements, and then the record talked you through it. I guess you'd call an early version of the 20-minute workout, without the visuals.

Belt Jiggler by Joe Wolf
Anyway, she bought this belt machine ... these things have actually been around since the 1920s (see vintage exercisers here), but it was news to us back then. You stand on it, wrap the belt around your waist, hips, thighs ... turn on the juice and let it jiggle the snot out of you ... and maybe your teeth if they were loose.

Cause it sure as hell didn't jiggle off any fat, although that's what it was supposed to do.

I have to admit, it was kind of fun sometimes when you were horsing around, but it often left me with a lot of red rashes along the belt line. It was one of the things I did not miss when it passed on.

Useless bit of work in terms of weight loss and I never did figure out exactly what it would be good for, although ... apparently one of the characters from Mad Men came up with a good use for it. More power to ya ... I'm not even gonna touch that one. If you want to know ... Google it!